Dual Income No Kids http://www.dinksfinance.com/2007/06/what-to-discuss-before-you-get-married.html Has a new article on premarital discussions by James.
His points about discussing debt, and money in point #1 are right on. Finance matters are a major player in divorce proceedings, so a happy marriage is easier if everyone is on the same fiscal front page.
Also, finding a new place to live for both people is, once again, great advice. The marriage is strengthened, both people feel a stronger sense of commitment, and you get to set up house together.
His advice about prenuptual agreements is where I take issue. It's not that it seems like one partner doesn't trust the other, or that it seems unromantic (although you wouldn't call it romantic). The reality is that if two people are at equal station in life, then they shouldn't need one. The premarital process should take care of the major issues better than a lawyer can, and most people would feel a whole lot happier if they never had to involve one in their marriage.
To go back to the original Greek, love is a verb, not a noun. You don't fall into verbs, you act them out.
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2 comments:
Great advise.
It is amazing to me how much finances can work its way into dividing a marriage.
I have a real problem for prenuptuals for true Christian couples that understand the covenant of marriage. It really seems to take the faith and commitment out of the covenant. It seems like it is leaving a door open to the possibility of divorce, and I believe in ones desire to not get divorced, ever, they should not even allow it as a possibility in their mind.
I also agree completely with premarital counseling... it amazes me how many couple get married with out it. I believe in marital counseling as well... before things get to the point that divorce would even be considered.
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